The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
