Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Randomize