i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
