So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize
