dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
Randomize
