don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize
