Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
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