yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
Randomize
