Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
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