I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
zippers are such a cool invention
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
