I'm gonna have a badass scar
I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
