I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
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