He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
