Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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