Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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