Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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