i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Randomize
