He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
