those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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