Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
