dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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