Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Randomize
