Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
