P.S. I can't hear my feet
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
