plz talk dirty to me
My friends, they love my intelligence
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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