just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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