Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Randomize
