I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
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