Sry I called you an 8
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
last night I used snow as a chaser
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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