well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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