then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Randomize
