i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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