I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
