Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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