check it out our google latitudes are spooning
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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