I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
