I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
