is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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