my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
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