I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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