Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Randomize
