I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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