I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
