i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Randomize
