I don't usually arrange sex via text message
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Randomize
