Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
