I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Randomize
