Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
