We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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