I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Dick very happy bro
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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